Reflection on our Walk

Shalom saints of the most High, may we forever strive to live for Kadosh Hashem, the Sanctification of His Name
Maybe what I write here is only a need for my heart to pour out or maybe this is something that is true for many:
You see, I have danced and sang and clapped and stomped my feet in the Charismatic churches
I have spoken in tongues, I have seen people slain in the Spirit and I have seen tears of joy and laughs of freedom
I have run and flowed with the Pentecostals
I have been drunk in the Spirit, crawled and cried and laughed
I have swayed my sword among the Spiritual Warriors, waging war in the heavenlies, finding a demon in everything, finding a demon in nothing, raising my voice and shaking my fist at the devil's hordes
I have walked with the Reformists
I have heard the sermons of the Restorers
I have been silent like the Mystics, drawing inwardly
I have believed like the preachers of the Word and Faith movements
I have seen much, heard much, read much
Only now do I see even this can you leave you empty
You see, I have walked that path of seeking every revelation, every knowledge and every understanding
The Lord has granted me such, Insight, truth, understanding, strategy, wisdom and teachings
I have sought it all, studied it so deeply, delving deeper and deeper. It is all good.
Yet now I realise we can be filled with the greatest of knowledge, we could have talked in a million tongues, we could have seen thousands slain in the Spirit, we could have baptised so many, taught and preached to so many, we can be so Spiritual, so full of Revelation, but even all of this can mean nothing. It truly can leave us empty, never knowing the Lord. Indeed, without true love even thins can leave a bitter taste.
If we don’t walk like Jesus did, believe like He did, obeyed like He did, loved like He did, well, in the end it all means nothing. Jesus pleased the Father and He ate with sinners. He never put on a show, never performed and never tried to be something He was not. I think that today a flesh and blood Jesus would not find a place in our churches. My Jesus picked up a rugged cross on His back that was ripped, bloodied and bruised and broken. He died in anguish for our sins. My Jesus never sought fame, titles or to please - He sought for His Father to be glorified and for man to again have peace in the truth that He brought.
Yes, we can be so full of it, yet if we don’t have a living, real, true and deep relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, well then it all means nothing. We have become a generation so full of revelation and teaching yet we do not live in the reality of His presence. We sit for ages in churches, listen to thousands of sermons, becoming spiritual, yet never just living and abiding in His presence. We talk and talk yet we fail to carry the cross. We jump and up down, our tongues alive with Scripture and language, yet the heavenlies and the earth still awaits for the sons and daughter to reclaim their place.
It reminds me of a song by U2- Bono sang that he had held the hand of the devil and spoke in the tongues of angels, yet he still hadn't found what he was looking for. I believe we find many things when it comes to the spiritual - revelations, miracles, speaking in tongues, falling down in the Spirit, shaking the heavens with might and fury. Yet, do we truly find the Lord? Do we truly and really find Him? How much of what we hear is truly the Father? How much what we experience is really the Sprit? Imagination, escapism and emotionalism can play tricks on our minds. You see, if we find the Lord and truly have a relationship with Him, then we will change for the good. We will then live and talk and walk and breath like Jesus.
I guess what I'm trying to say is best illustrated by the life of Johnny Cash, the famous country singer. Here was a man who experienced a life of drugs and alcohol. As a boy he sang gospel, but when he started singing professionally, well he needed to sing his own brand of music to sell albums. He had an incredible career, in the end, he had also had an incredible and long lasting marriage. At the end of his life, a year or so prior to his death, he finally recorded his first and only gospel album.
On a day in the early part of the century, at the age of 70, he phoned his producer with this idea of making such an album. So the producer met Johnny in a cabin. Johnny was there, with his guitar. Without any thrills and show, he simply sang 20 or so songs from his mother's old hymnbook. He regards this as his greatest album that he ever made! He recorded the album by just humbly playing his guitar and singing from his heart the most beautiful old hymns that he learned as a boy. When he recorded, he never sang for anyone that day, but he sang for the Lord. The most amazing this is that Johnny always felt that during his entire life and career he was working towards this one goal: to make a album to glorify the Lord. I recommend this album by and by (My Mother's Hymn Book). It speaks of a man who had run with demons and angels, yet in the end he just came to the Lord as he is. In the end, it seems as if he realised that what it is all about is our relationship with God and that the Father just wants our love. This counts far more than our countless endeavors.
The Lord just wants us to walk with Him, as we are, no thrills, no show and no performance and know Him deeply. Johnny sang a song a long time ago called Walk the Line. It's like the Lord is saying just Walk the Line with Him, in His presence, abiding in Him. All the revelations, all the knowledge and all our spiritual days of soaking and dancing means nothing if we can't love like He does, if we can't live like He wants us to live and if we can't love Him above all else. Everything else is but a sideshow. What is real is when we walk with Him in love during the day and night. We need to come to Him in simplicity and adoration, just as we are, just like Johnny did with his guitar and a life that was full of ups and downs. From a heart that is real and true comes true adoration.
I was listening to this song Sunday morning, It sums a lot how I feel these days:
There's a harp in my heart, and only You can play it
There's a song in my broken soul, and only You can sing it
You're so unpredictable God, just like the rhythm, the rhythm of weeping
And my life is still so upside down, but you keep on coming, coming around
You keep on reaching, even though I let you down.
I hear those curfew bells are ringing, but I just can't stop my singing.
I've got to tell just one more person, never give up, keep on dreaming
Quieter than rain, He knows all your pain
Oh, I wish you would put those words in my mouth
To tell the world what you are really like
Not a dead God who lives in some building
But a Father of kindness, a Son of forgiveness, A Spirit who helps me
Yeah, that is who you are
There is a cry that I have had that I could love my brother
And not look at his race, his religion or his colour
You love those Presbyterians, you love the Buddhists and the prostitute,
You are not like us, you never change
You see through our sin and you love us anyway
And the cry of my heart: Jesus, let us be like you but Lord, show us who You are and not what man thinks You ought to be. Show us Lord so that we can walk the line.
So these days I grow silent. Oh, how I truly what to know the Lord. Everything else pales and grows faint in the light of His love and glory.